It's so hard as a parent to watch your kids learn life's hard lessons . . . the hard way. Ever since we moved to Aurora, we've reminded the boys that leaving bikes or other valuable things out on the driveway is providing a temptation to people that we would rather not provide. They've been pretty good, but as we've said, "Pretty good may not be good enough. It only takes one time for something to get taken." And Erik learned that the hard way yesterday.
He had done a "trade" with one of the kids in the neighborhood---he loaned Ryan his bike, and Ryan loaned Erik his skateboard for a week. Well, Erik left for school Friday morning and forgot to put the skateboard in the garage. Ryan came to do the trade-back Friday after school, and sure enough the skateboard was gone.
What do you do? Let the friend keep your bike since you lost his skateboard? Buy him a new skateboard--to the tune of $60? Say it isn't your fault and take your bike back? Erik's initial reaction was to do the latter (not a proud parenting moment!). He was really angry. Probably mostly at himself, but of course he said it was my fault, because I didn't remind him to put it away. We all agreed that Ryan would keep the bike overnight and we would talk about the best way to handle the situation. It didn't take long for Erik to put himself in Ryan's shoes and realize that his initial reaction wasn't the right one. And what a great discussion we were able to have about what it means to "do the right thing, even when it's hard." We talked about how Erik probably could get away with doing nothing, but how does that make God look when you say you love and follow Him, but then try to "get away" with stuff?
We are still sorting out exactly how to handle this, but it will probably involve making sure Ryan gets a skateboard. At $1/week, that could be more than a year's worth of Erik's allowance gone. So, do we make him pay for the whole thing? Do we make him earn the money in other ways? Do we say, "That was the first time, so we'll cover it, but if it happens again . . . ?" I know we need to, and will, let Erik feel the consequences of being irresponsible in one way or another. But it's not easy as a parent to watch your kid have to learn these hard life lessons. I guess Erik and I are both learning a hard life lesson through this.
Not that I need it after the last post, but there was an article in the Beacon News today that confirmed we are serving in the right place. It included a chart comparing the demographics of many of the school districts in the area. Here's a link to the full chart, but with 92% of students being minorities, 68% being low-income, and 35% having limited English proficiency, East Aurora District 131 is by far the most challenged district in the area. Download Demographics_by_District.pdf 
