Robert D. Lupton: Compassion, Justice and the Christian Life: Rethinking Ministry to the Poor
The best book on Christian Community Development I have read!
Bob Roberts Jr.: Transformation: How Glocal Churches Transform Lives and the World
Patty Lane: A Beginner's Guide to Crossing Cultures: Making Friends in a Multicultural World
Manuel Ortiz: One New People: Models for Developing a Multiethnic Church
We're off for a month in Costa Rica at CISA to learn the language and the culture so that hopefully we will be better equipped to minister in East Aurora. I hope to post at least occassionally, but I guess to stay true to the immersion experience, I'll have to do it in Spanish. Probably not, but if you speak Spanish, please leave me a comment in Espanol!
This is kind of how I've felt lately . . . like we are throwing money down the drain. Broken appliances, major car repairs, vet bills, a root canal, grocery and gas bills creeping significantly higher. We certainly feel the pinch, but we are going to be okay. But I can't say that about all of my neighbors. To be honest, I really don't know how some of them are managing during these challenging economic times. It's not really an easy topic to bring up, especially when even simple communication is difficult with the language barrier. But, I know if we are feeling the hit, and we are a solid 2 income family (granted two "non-profit" level incomes, but non-profit income is far better than Walmart or Taco Bell income), then most of our neighbhors must really be feeling punched down. I want to believe that economic revival is in store for East Aurora. But, I am starting to get pretty anxious about the state of our community . . . and actually our country and our world. It makes me very angry that we as a society have been so gluttonous with God's resources that this is the state we find ourselves in. I'm sorry, God, for what we have done to your world.
We weren't sure how it would come off, but we actually had a terrific Family Summit even though we had to forego our usual weekend in a cabin in Door County. Thanks to the beautiful weather, we were able to spend most of it outside . . . a 22 mile bike ride to Geneva one day and an 18 mile bike ride along the Chicago lakeshore another and lots and lots of hanging out and talking. This was the first year that both boys were really able to engage in a meaningful and deep way in some of our discussions. We actually created a true family mission statement this year . . . as opposed to the one that Scott and I created for our family several years ago. The real highlight of this weekend for Scott and I was looking back on our Summit notes from 2001--the year we first started dreaming about creating a "seamless" life---a life where our jobs and passions and callings all converged. Seven years later, with Scott and I both in careers we love serving the same community that we live in, we have fulfilled that dream. That same year, we had also created a "10 year vision," and it was very cool to see that even though we haven't necessarily strategically focused on making those things happen, after only 7 years, we have done almost everything we had dreamed we would have done by 2011.
I am sure by next year, God will be calling and challenging us to something new, but this year felt like a year of celebration and truly defining who we are and want to be as a family. I am so proud of Erik and Brian for who they are becoming and the values they seem to be developing--independent of me and Scott. We are heading into those pre-adolescent years, so I know we will have many challenges ahead of us, but I pray God is shaping them and us to resist the challenges and temptations that lie ahead. Weekends like this, when we re-focus on our motto "a cord of '5' Strands is not easily broken," give me confidence that with God as the glue and the guide, we will be the family He desires us to be.
We were all really looking forward to our annual trip to Door County next weeked for our Family Summit. Over the past two days, though, our very old refridgerator finally bit the dust and has to be replaced, and our sweet dog is very sick and those vet bills are adding up. So, we've had to make some tough choices and have decided that we are going to have to find creative ways to do our Family Summit here at home.
It has been a good lesson for the boys . . . money isn't unlimited, but we are blessed that when these emergencies came up, we were able to respond. But, there is a cost to life's unexpected challenges. We talked about our friend Frances who was supposed to go to Mexico this summer, but since the gas prices have gotten so high, she won't be able to go. We are so blessed that we can still go to Costa Rica.
Once we all got passed the initial disappointment, we've had some fun brainstorming ways we can make our weekend at home still be a "weekend away." We have another week to figure it out, but I think this could be a great opportunity for us to bond in a new way as a family.
Now we just have to pray for our sick dog, Lucy. It doesn't look good, and I am praying we won't have to process her loss as part of our Summit.
I have the kind of friends and family that most people would kill for. A year ago, I made my husband, Scott, swear that we would let me 40th birthday this year go by completely unannounced. He must have had his fingers crossed, because last night about 60 people descended on my home to give me the most amazing surprise birthday I could have imagined. I am getting teary just thinking about how humbling it was to have so many people come out to celebrate with me. And the gift they gave me totally took my breath away. These people, all of whom have given and sacrificed far more than Scott and I have for Community 4:12, CCC, and the world, gave Scott and I an all expense paid weekend in Chicago--hotel, meals, a show. And many of these same people just 3 years ago came in and gave our home a total make-over when Scott had been out of work getting his teaching degree so he could come work in East 
Aurora. It is times like this when you just have to swallow your pride and know there is just absolutely no way you can adequately thank or ever come close to reciprocating the gift you have been given . . . kind of like Christ's gift. They all know that being the center of attention is about my least favorite thing in the world, but how could I not love every minute of being with the people that make life worth living for. I love you guys and wish I could throw a similar "love fest" for each and every one of you! Thank you!
Oh, and after everyone left and I sat crying through all the "love letters" they wrote me and got to my son Erik's card, I just burst out laughing. He wrote,"Happy 40th! I hope you have the best birthday ever! Love, Erik. PS--Be grateful for your brown hair. It'll soon be gray!" Next time I have to give a speech, I know who I am going to to help bring some comic relief! I love that kid.
Had one of my dreaded moments as a mom yesterday. I got home from work and my 10 year old said, "Mom, I almost got beat up today." He then proceeded to tell me about the kickball game he played afterschool and how one of the boys didn't like a play he made and the next thing he knew this boy had pushed him to the ground and was smoothering him. Then one of Erik's friends came up to that guy and started hitting him to get him off Erik. Thankfully my husband and some other teachers were around and things were stopped before they got out of control. The boy that attacked Erik claimed that Erik had pushed him. There were enough witnesses to refute that claim, but I know my son well enough to know that he might have shown a bit of an attitude or said something in a tone of voice that could have been perceived as confrontational. Not a big deal most of the time, but to a child prone to anger or aggression, that might be all it takes to provoke a full-fledged attack. Thankfully he could learn that lesson without serious ramifications, and I pray he learned it well.
But I am feeling really anxious today. What if this boy, who ended up getting suspended from the after-school program, decides he wants to seek revenge? I've not really worried about the boys playing with kids in the neighborhood, but today I'm feeling a little more apprehensive about that. Erik seemed to be okay with it all, but I wonder if he is feeling a little more scared than usual at school today.
I know something like this could have happened in Naperville or anywhere, but there is no denying that some of the kids we see around portray a pretty rough image. I don't want to feel afraid or uneasy living in our East Aurora home, so I hope this is a temporary feeling. There are some great kids in the neighborhood, too, and I don't want to get blinded or jaded to that fact.
Had a great day traveling with the 4th graders from Bardwell Elementary to Springfield. The day started before 5:00 am and we didn't return until after 9:00 pm, but the kids were terrific and we saw some great places. The Lincoln Museum was particularly impressive and interesting. Hard to identify the wax from the real people in this picture, huh? I guess the clothing style makes it pretty easy to identify my group from Lincoln's family, but there were some pretty impressive wax figures!
A highlight of the day for me was getting to spend some time with one of the boys from my son Erik's class who is considered a "bully" (he's not in this picture, because he refused to be associated with our group). He had some pretty shocking things to say about his dream of growing up and recreating a genocide like the Haulocaust to wipe out all races except Puerto Ricans, and about what he was going to do with the several shot glasses he purchased from the gift shop. But he was also the most interested of all the kids in the group in actually learning something on this trip and had a pretty amazing ability to synthesize information. He started off the day by telling me he didn't like "white people," which I took as a warning that he was not going to be pleasant to be around. But, we ended up having a couple of really good conversations, and I saw a softer side to him that I would guess he doesn't reveal very often. I see two very clear and opposing possible paths for this bright young man who is obviously a leader. I fear the one he will take is what everyone is predicting; I pray some positive relationships will step into his life and steer it the other way.
I love to write. I have always been able to express myself so much better in writing than verbally. So it breaks my heart that my kids are not learning to love to write. We knew there would be many aspects of their education that would not be as "top-notch" here in East Aurora district 131 schools as they were in Naperville district 203. And we're mostly okay with that, knowing that education is far more than what you learn in school. But, the one area that I notice a huge difference in what is taught and required of the kids here is in the area of writing.
There is so much need to focus on the basic reading and math skills that writing seems to be a subject that gets the short end of the stick. But for me, knowing how to communicate effectively in writing is an absolutely essential life-skill. I know the boys are young, so there is time for that skill and that love of writing to emerge, but it worries me a little that they aren't starting young.
So, being the "fix-it" kind of person I am, we are starting a new evening routine around the Strand house. After dinner everyone is going to sit together and "journal." Each person can write whatever they want, they just have to write something. I figured I'd get all kinds of moans and groans about that, but last night after picking out their own special notebooks, the boys each eagerly sat down to write! Brian decided to write a story, and Erik wanted to draw and write the step-by-step plans for building a fort in our backyard. I suggested about 15 minutes---not wanting to expect or push too much. I'd say they each went for at least 30 minutes. Granted it was a new and novel experience, so I suspect it won't be that easy most nights, but it did my heart good to see the boys ENJOYING creative writing!
Have been reading this fascinating book. My friend (I think I can call him that) and innovative real estate developer, Perry Bigelow gave me this book and said it would be foundational as we think about creating a community center for youth. I think he may be right. I'm not far into it, but it has already got me thinking about a lot of things . . . both from a ministry standpoint AND a parenting perspective. It reveals the 40 Developmental Assets all kids need (according to Search Institute findings) in order to thrive and be able to resist the barage of peer pressure to engage in "high risk" behaviors such as sex, drugs, alcohol, and crime.
Many of the 40 are things I would have predicted, or at least expected based on my psychology background. But there are two so far that have really struck me. The first is that all young people should have a regular, positive and supportive relationship with at least three adults outside of their parents. And these relationships should be long-term. That of course screams for the need for more mentoring programs in at-risk communities. But, it also got me thinking about whether my own kids have that. Since we've moved to Aurora, we spend so much of our time trying to provide that "positive adult influence" for kids in the neighborhood. And of course our boys are involved in all those things, but that's not doing much to foster relationships with OTHER adults! It is not as easy or automatic to find those influences in our neighborhood. Maybe we better find some mentors for our own kids!
The second asset that struck me was that youth should be involved in 3 or more hours/week of Creative (arts, music, drama, etc.) practice or activity. Search has also found that of the 40 developmental assets, this is the one that the highest percentage of kids lack. That just totally reinforces my feeling that we have to get some School for the Arts programming going around here, because the kids around here are certainly not getting that at school or through private lessons!
If you work with youth, or have kids of your own, I would highly recommend this book!
We had a blast at our new friends Obe and Jack's last night. We were celebrating Jack's birthday and their recent move to Aurora to help people from the Hispanic community here find their way back to God. I just met them last June, but they have become very precious to me and our family. I know God is going to do some powerful, powerful things through them.
And, Jack, not only did I not feel "out of place" like I have at other gatherings around here, I couldn't believe how fast the night flew. Your friends and family are almost--but not quite--as great as you are! Thanks for letting us be a part of your life, and I can't wait to see what this next year will bring!
